Showing Up — Grace & Grit

How significant are the people who don’t show up for an event? It’s silly to ask this question - I get it. If someone doesn’t show up for an event, they consequently have no role in it. If the dip is bad and everyone gets sick, only the people who showed up will get sick. When the pictures are taken, only the people who showed up are included. In 10 years when you reminisce this event, only the people who showed up can reminisce the crazy thing he did poolside all those years ago.

Showing up matters. Sometimes showing up means you can be the life of the party. The funny one. The smooth one. The remembered one.

Sometimes showing up means you made it. You chat with a few people. You settle into a corner and nurse your mental or physical injuries and wonder why you dragged yourself out for this.

It matters. There were times when I would plan to sleep for a week in order to attend a putt-putt golf game with my kids. There were times when I would plan a kid’s birthday party and be laid up for three weeks following because making magic for him took so much out of me. Every Sunday night I propped myself up in the corner of my couch and welcomed 30 beautiful people into my home.

They came to my home for a Bible study, technically. But, really, I think they came to keep me alive. I would prepare myself for days to be ready to talk to them and laugh with them. It took so much out of me, but it was worth every thread of effort. In many ways, they saved me from myself. I showed up for them and they showed up for me.

Showing up matters because people change people. Reading changes us. Observation changes us. But, of all things, people change us. The love those people poured into me was the hand of God pouring strength in me when I was weak. It was His hope when all felt lost. It was my reason to hang on until another Sunday night.

There’s a fine line between overdoing showing up and getting it just right for your personality and circumstances. You know the line, or at least can work to find it. No one can know what’s right for you. It’s easy to indulge our laziness or misery, isn’t it? Being truthful with ourselves about the right times to show up and the right times to bail out is tricky. With practice and honesty, this skill improves.

I encourage you to pick the most important things and make a plan for how to show up for them. For me, the list was short. My kids were primary. My husband was secondary. (Some of you may question these priorities; please extend grace for what life is like when someone is suffering in ways you’ve not experienced). My Bible study group friends, extended family, church family, and outside friends were all negotiable based on how I was doing and what the circumstance asked of me. If I had to sacrifice my top priorities for a moment to serve a lesser priority, I was cognizant of my good reason to make the sacrifice.

Be present of mind about your values, circumstantial needs, and realistic as you find a way to prioritize and be true to your list of people and things for which to show up. Prioritize what matters most AND what will give you returns on your invested time. Sometimes we need to choose to do something that is hard but has strong returns for our life. Don’t miss or side step these things.

I wish you more conversations with your voice rising up because you showed up. I wish you more pictures with your smile (fake or not) included because you showed up. I wish you courage and discernment to prioritize and live out your values. I wish you strength to carry through your good plan and gentleness for yourself when you need to abandon it.

Show up, even if you’re propped up. Your presence matters; people care. Most of the time, you’ll be glad you did.